I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
