literally had 100 drinks last night.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
