So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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