You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
