I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
