Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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