Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
