I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
