I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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