one word: firstdatebathroomanal
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
