cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
