I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
