She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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