He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
