She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
