he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
