she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
