Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
