I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
