Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
