If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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