Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
