omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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