also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
