I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
