If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
