Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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