After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
