How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
