I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
