5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
