the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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