Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
