Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
did i walk over a car last night?
There's always time for handjobs
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
