What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
