6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
