this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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