what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
