my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
