I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
