We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
All the doctor said was why
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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