you guys were way drunker than both of me
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
wow bdsm is so cute
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
