i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
