If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's never too late to be topless.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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