So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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