Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
