I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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