Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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