Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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