I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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